This Version of Things is Brutal and Constant
Elon Musk bought Twitter to feel something.
I have bad news, folks: we will not be returning to scheduled programming for some time yet. The richest man in the world has taken over Twitter, and the internet has been plagued by chaos and drama ever since. What’s new, eh?
No one on this earth cares where the drama comes from, as long as it continues til the end. And at least we can count on that. Elon Musk has taken a rocket to the central nervous system of Twitter HQ, and the getting is good for journalists. Thousands of former employees left scattered across the globe, now forced to use the platform they built to respond to requests to comment and mourn with the rest of the tribe. Yes, we live in brutal times. But who told you that was changing?
If I owned Twitter, I would not fire half of the people working for me. Doing so seems equal parts chaotic and ruthless, and I like to live a life without either. It is all tequila and horizontal living for me. But I do not own the website, and I never will. Jesus, why would you want to? There is a certain amount of feeling I can do without, and responsibility becomes less attractive with every extra body at your door. Feeling: that may be it. Who is Elon Musk, anyway?
Twitter is built on the people that use it, and we have a lot of screwing up to do before the difference is all that obvious. But Mr. Musk is trying his best. This is a man without troubles – at least few that would make you feel sorry for him. He could lose a lot of money, that’s true, and while One Billion Dollars is a lot less than Fifty, it’s more than any of us can comprehend. We are children fighting for coins at the bottom of a swimming pool – pushing each other underwater, holding our breath – while Mr. Musk chuckles and thinks: well, couldn’t be me.
And he’d be right.
Elon Musk bought Twitter to feel something – and I think it’s working.
People keep saying This Version Of Twitter will change, as if we’re suddenly at the gates of something truly different. Yes, we are looking more regularly at abuse and horror, but these have been with us for a long time. Job losses are not good, even at the best of times, but this is the real impact so far. Elon is trying to combat catastrophe with a swarm of propaganda fuelled by confusion and shameless repetition. But everyone who matters has done it before him. Flooding the zone is not just a tactic for football.
This is what Twitter was made for: an issue made giant by the very people on it, screaming and yelling and hollering. And they are not just psychotic over Musk’s forced installation as our permanent main character – we are angry at each other, too. The real difference, if only for a moment, is that our main character is the world’s richest man, and he has been that way for a while. I imagine that is what ol’ Elon ended up paying for when he bought the joint.
Twitter could well get worse, but you will be here until the ship hits the sea floor. Even the Titanic had an orchestra – and there is still a long way down. Having fewer people working at a platform, designed around managing egos and emotions and hate, means things will likely degrade. And that is logic. We don’t need a Doctor to help us there. The human rights department is gone and we have an election coming up. None of this is good, kiddo. Should a man be able to gather together more money than a small nation to buy a place like Twitter? Should someone have stopped him? I don’t suppose it matters – because he did. When you are poor and Desperate, you’re better off dealing with the scraps.
Employees are struck by the cruelty, which is their right, and which is true. But cruelty is what built America. It has always been there. You may want to go somewhere else, but nowhere else will give you what you want. The sad reality is that many of us don’t want meaningful discussion or A Network or pure and innocent peers – at least not from Twitter.com. Because if that is what you had wanted you would have found it by now – and easily, too. It is not hard to look just about anywhere else. But Twitter is where we have all landed.
Painfully, we want chaos and torture and drama – and there is nothing wrong with that. But you aren’t going to get it anywhere else, kid. At least not like this. So strap in and hold on – things are just getting started. We are not going to Mars just yet, but our decisions are being made for us at a rapidly increasing rate.
No one is saying you can’t be sad. But be honest. In the end, you gave up having a choice when you logged on for the first time. It’s nothing personal. Just capitalism. Ain’t fair and ain’t right. The boss will play with his toys until they break, and glueing it all back together again could prove impossible. We are already at the stage of pissing off every advertiser in the Western World. But those statements are easily made, by wealthy people just like Mr. Musk, who can look at the books and see just how little they were spending on Twitter anyway. Real change starts with movement. Have you gone anywhere yet?
I have noticed changes, sure. But that is a part of life. And you don’t have to be happy about any of it. There are reasonable and true things to point at as you head out the door, but I’m going down with the ship.
Swimming lessons start at noon – I will see you there, limber and ready as ever.
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